Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Love my Superheroes!

The other night we went to a Kids on the Move Alumni Party with a superhero theme. The kids could dress up and of course, my boys love that sort of thing. Before we left, I took these pics mostly because Shaddie was SO proud and felt so grown up. He kept showing his muscles like the other boys and HAD to be in the pictures. It hit me- hard- at that moment that if this baby is another little boy, I really will be so excited and it'll be just the perfect addition. I've been so excited to hope for a little girl and people all the time are telling me they are hoping we have one too but honestly, it doesn't matter. People think we're crazy for not finding out but really, I think it's kinda fun because what does it really matter? I love these boys and another boy would fit right in. Shaddie would have the perfect little buddy right next to him as his sidekick. 

Our Routine

School is in full swing with the older boys and we've gotten into a good routine. Poor Shaddie is the one with the hard time- he often doesn't get a good nap at home, in his own bed, since our day revolves around dropping up/picking up the boys and we often have things scheduled in the afternoons once they are out of school. Life of the youngest I guess! It's getting to be easy to transfer him from his car seat to his crib though- he's going to be like Levi and able to sleep anywhere.

We get them to school by 8:45 am in Orem and pick them at 11:45 am. Ty goes M-F and Levi is M,W, F. We get all our dailies done in the mornings except for homework so it's nice to come home with it all done and just do whatever homework they bring home. Shaddie and I go to the gym after dropping the boys off and it's so nice to start the mornings off with. I'm still having trouble with my left foot and so haven't had a good workout in about 2 weeks. I ran 2 miles on Monday but then my foot really started hurting. Today I gave in and got an xray of it but of course, nothing showed up. My mom is convinced it's a stress fracture so it doesn't show up on normal xray. She's been struggling with the same thing for the last year. It's frustrating because with a stress fracture the body doesn't recognize it's broken because it's so small and so the pain just keeps going on. It's better to have a real fracture. So I'm going to just keep running since I enjoy it so much and it's my sanity saver and maybe it'll either go away or it'll officially break! :) 

I consider it quite the accomplishment to get all 4 of us out of the door, dressed, breakfast eaten, teeth brushed, hair gelled, chores done, scripture study, family prayer and blessing on food by myself. TJ is always at work by the time we're up and at it. I was thinking the other day about how I feel pretty confident handling three kids. I've got it down and it's become the norm. But with number 4 coming in the not too distant future, I'm starting to wonder how I'm going to do it??? What did I get myself into?? Our nice little morning routine is going to turn back to chaos and simply survival. Gotta admit, puts a little damper on the whole new baby excitement. :)

It's been interesting, with Shad being in nursery, he is now more aware when he's alone and I leave him. Like at the gym- he used to not have a problem when I dropped him off alone with out Ty and Levi. Lately he's been crying when I leave him. He does so much better with his brothers around!

Ty and Levi are both doing awesome in their new classes. Ty is so excited to go every day and can't wait to do his homework when he gets home. We still have grumpy mornings from him waking up too early but it's never about not wanting to go to school. Just the normal other issues he sometimes deals with. He seems to be catching onto the curriculum just fine and I was surprised to learn his accelerated kindergarten class is actually 1st grade work! And it seems to be exactly what he needs since he thrives on learning. It's funny to hear him read the directions from his own homework or tell Levi how to do his. He enjoys making new friends and following rules. 
For a few days, Levi was sad to go because he said he didn't have any friends but I figured out it was because he didn't know any of the kids' names in his class. In his mind, that equated to not having friends. Each day I've had him learn one new name and tell me what it is after school and that's helped a lot with helping him realize, he does have friends. 
It takes us about 15 minutes to get to their school in Orem- not bad at all. The drive seems fast and I think it won't be that big of deal taking them every morning. I'm still so grateful they both get one year together at this amazing school. I seriously just love Kids Village. One teacher today told him how they all can't believe what good friends Ty and Levi are. They are always holding hands when I pick them up. Ty likes to take charge and take care of his little brother- it's cute!

The breakfast the boys provided for themselves since they woke up at 4:30 am one morning when TJ was leaving. We survived his work's yearly Convention last week! He worked 75 hours on his last week of break before grad school starting up again!! Whoo hoo!!

We started up with swimming again since they finally had room for us. All three boys took a refresher week. It was so funny to see the older boys watch and cheer for Shad. They took pictures of him with my phone, had to hold his towel out for him when he got out and kept kissing his cheeks to tell him good job! Ty is starting is learn to swim the length of the pool on his own!! It's making me soooo happy and all the effort of getting to lessons worth it. It's crazy to think how far he's come in regards to his water issues. He used to even hate the sprinklers and splash pad, let alone get in a pool and swim. Yay for Ty!!

My official last day of work was June 1st of this year. This summer was awesome because we were super busy and we were gone a lot and just enjoyed ourselves. It was so awesome without work interfering!!! I was ready to be done and knew it was the right thing to do, for multiple reasons.

Now with the school year starting and after settling into a different routine than we've ever had before, (Ty only goes to 3 hours of school a day- the least amount he's ever had) with lots of empty afternoons without anything scheduled, not working is becoming an adjustment that I'm having to work through! It's been really weird changing my status to "homemaker" instead of part time working mom. It's HARD!! And I MISS WORK!!! I miss the chaos of the ER and my awesome co-workers and docs, I miss the crazy stories and having skills that make me unique and professional. I miss having a tiny bit of time away from home and walking out the door, leaving dirty dishes and kids to put to bed for TJ for once. (He helps out all he can, poor guy- he just has a very full plate right now!!). I miss the extra income it provided (working a few shifts a month led to an extra $11,000 for the year 2014!) and the satisfaction of having some money "to myself" and being able to pick up extra shifts to pay for vacations and extra curricular activities. I miss the respect people gave when I could answer with more than "just being a stay at home mom"- vain I know, but it's true. 

However, I don't miss being TIRED all the time, even from working just one shift once in a while. I don't miss trying to get all the naps I can in a day and being grumpy and irritable in a dirty house with crazy kids running around, watching too much TV. I don't miss worrying about finding baby sitters and worrying if my kids are safe and taken care of while I'm away from them overnight. I don't miss spending hours trying to find coverage so I don't miss a soccer game or first Primary talk. I don't miss missing family activities and being in my kids' life every. single. minute. It's tough but I'm learning to LOVE being a stay at home mom and being with these boys 24/7. 
Once TJ is done with school we'll move into a different stage or life and we'll see what that brings but for now, I'm content with the decision to completely stay at home. Over the past month of two, I've had 5 job interviews and 4 job offers. However, with each one, I just didn't feel right about it and ultimately, after lots of prayer and talking with TJ and my mom, decided my answer was to not work at all for the moment. Our focus is to get TJ through his last two semesters of grad school and get baby #4 here safe and sound, while raising these boys the best we can. We're definitely starting to miss the extra income it provided and I'm busy with sticking to a budget and trying to coupon and find good deals but I know it's the right thing to do. I don't regret going to all the interviews. It was good for me to practice and see I am of value and worth still, even though I'm "just a mom" now. It felt awesome to hear people wanted me to come work for them and that maybe I haven't truly lost part of my identity as a working nurse mom. It's still there but just on hold. Now I can completely enjoy having a completely free schedule, not worrying about missing things going on in my boys' life and putting too much added stress on TJ as he struggles to get through school, full time work, homework, church responsibilities and internships for school. It's refreshing to be available all. the time. for my family. 
So anyways, these are my recent thoughts on my own individual life that is adjusting after working for the past 7 years. I truly do love my life- even though some days are HARD being home with these boys. It's so wonderful to sleep, all night, every single night at home, in my own bed. Even when Shad was a newborn, I felt more refreshed and awake then I had working nights all those years. I love being awake so early in the morning, ready to tackle the day with renewed energy and determination to have patience, show love to my boys and be the best I can be. I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for helping me reach this decision and for backing me up on this motherhood thing- it's definitely not for the faint of heart!! Even a crazy ER full of psych and trauma patients can't compare at times!! :)

I was doing laundry and came back into the room after putting clothes away and found Mr. Steve Rogers sitting in the dryer like this- cracked me up :) He was so proud of himself!

Monday, August 17, 2015

First Day of School

Kids Village 2015-2016
Ty- Kindergarten
Levi- Preschool

The boys were so excited for their first day and to wear their new clothes! They were also super excited to be going to the same school together and it helped them not be nervous. Both walked right in and said goodbye and didn't look back!

Sunday, August 16, 2015

20 Weeks!

This past Friday I went in for my 20 week ultrasound!! Can't believe I'm already half way done- blows my mind! But I'm also grateful that it's gone by so fast. The morning sickness is rough but I'm absolutely shocked at how much harder, physically, this pregnancy is being #4. Considerably even from number 3. I feel like I should be 30 weeks instead of 20. I've already gained over 30 lbs even though I've been going to the gym 4-5 times a week and running 3 miles each time I go. My back aches and this past week I've hurt my foot so I've been hobbling around. I look ridiculous. I'm hoping so bad it goes away because I HAVE to keep going to the gym. It's my sanity saver. This past week I've just sat with my left foot dangling in the hot tub while I read my book and the kids are in the day care. It's soooo awesome. My routine revolves around the gym and especially this summer, we go at 8 am every day so it's the perfect start to our day. So I'm praying this resolves and I can keep running my 3 miles. I've worked so hard to get in good running shape that I hate to lose it completely when I start back up postpartum. There's a reason people stop at 4 kids- holy cow! It's ROUGH. But oh so worth it!! I just can't imagine how my mom did 9- she truly is amazing and a saint and completely sacrificed her body. Whew!! One kid at a time! 
Anyways, back to this sweet baby!!! I left the boys with Lexi and got to enjoy the ultrasound all to myself! It never gets old and absolutely is incredible to watch. So sweet!! It was fun to see adorable little hands and feet so clear! Everything was perfectly healthy- such a RELIEF! I always worry so much about that. Placenta is fine, which was a problem when I was pregnant with Shad, so everything looked great! This little thing was measuring at 21 weeks and 1 day so a little big! I was 20 weeks and 4 days at these pictures. 
We love you sweet baby and are so excited to see what you are!!
Be nice to your mommy!!

End of Summer

Ty finished up his T ball season! I was so surprised at how much he actually loved it and enjoyed it. So unlike soccer, ha! He loved every single practice and game and never once cried or had a meltdown. He loved doing it with his good friend, Xander Love who was at Giant Steps with Ty, so it was fun to hang out with their family twice a week. He actually improved a lot too! It was worth the effort :)

 We had a little Stay-cation with the Hendriksens for the end of summer. We had a BBQ, played water kickball, and went to a Salt Lake Bee's Game. We hadn't been to a game yet so it was fun! I hurt my foot this week- not sure what I did- so I looked ridiculous limping around all weekend. I think I've just been running too much?? I'm not sure but I'm hoping it just goes away :) We'll see. 

Ty's signature pose