Thursday, March 14, 2013

Tyler

This is Tyler. He was one of TJ's YM teachers (a young man in our church youth group who TJ worked very closely with) that lived a few houses down from us. Last week we got the tragic, shocking phone call that he had committed suicide by hanging himself in his backyard. We couldn't believe it! Honestly, you couldn't find a sweeter, kinder, genuinely loving 15 year old kid than this guy. He was always super smiley and happy and frequently would get up to bear his testimony. Definitely my favorite youth that my husband worked with. Everyone loved Tyler. TJ had talked to him 2 days before and I had had a nice conversation with him the Sunday before! It rocked the entire community and especially the jr. high school where he went. :( Isn't he such a cute kid??!




We aren't exactly sure why or what happened. He did have some bad things happen to him as a kid and a rocky family/parent situation. He came to live with his grandparents 3 years ago and was doing amazingly well with the change. But obviously, he still had some internal struggles and makes us all desperately wish we had known or could've helped more or done something different?? He left a goodbye note to his brother and best friend, saying he was sorry and that they needed to serve an extra good mission for him. :) That part broke my heart. The entire community/ward has been wearing orange ribbons in memory of him and they are everywhere up and down our street. 

My husband struggled a little with this since, amazingly enough, this is the closest person to him that has ever died! I've lost a grandma, brother, two cousins, an aunt- all pretty tragically and too early. It still made this difficult- death is never easy- but my heart hurt for my sweet husband. 

The funeral was very well done and our bishop and stake president who spoke did an incredible job. I was impressed how they flat out talked about suicide and said that yes, it was wrong of Tyler. He made a dumb mistake, like we all do sometimes. Was it his time to go? No. Did Heavenly Father call him home? No. Did He welcome Tyler home with open arms? Yes. :) They also quoted a lot from an Elder Ballard's talk about suicide which is excellent and the link is below. I know that all will be made right in the end and that we'll see Tyler again. Elder Ballard said this, 

“Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and He it is who will judge our actions here on earth.
”When He does judge us, I feel He will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth.“ 

http://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/10/suicide-some-things-we-know-and-some-we-do-not?lang=eng

1 comment:

Jen Perkins said...

This is heartbreaking! Such a beautiful young man.